I wrote and deleted so many messages to the Little Attorney That Could (suck it). As you see in the handwritten notes on the “clincher” settlement agreement, I had a lot of thoughts to share and I typed them all up so that I could mail them back to her with the unsigned agreement. That never happened. My sister works in the orthopedic industry and fielded several of my questions. She passed some of them along to her friend who happens to work in claims management himself. He thought that their proposal for $400 to close out the claim was completely ridiculous and said that I should counter with an ungodly high amount and then request a form 18M which once signed by my doctor and approved by the Industrial Commission would basically grant me the right to seek treatment related to the injury for the rest of my life. I ended up sending the LATC this:
First Name Only,
At ten months post-op, I am still experiencing some level of pain on an almost daily basis. This ranges from a nagging ache when there’s a change in barometric pressure to a sharp pain and inability to utilize the arm after maintaining certain positions while sleeping. A few weeks ago the joint started catching and popping as it did before surgery. This concerns me. While I have been fully released by the doctor, my activities and actions are still limited because of this pain and fear of further injury. I have had to put my life and plans on hold for over a year and I’m not entirely sure when or if I’ll be able to complete these plans in the future.
The hospital sent me statements from my surgery and I am all too aware of just how expensive surgery and the resulting medical bills from the treating physician and physical therapist can be. Taking all of this into consideration, I am, at this time, declining the “clincher” agreement offer of $3,110.80 that will permanently bar me from having any future related medical bills covered under this claim. I would, however, be amenable to signing a ‘clincher’ agreement for the sum of $50,000.00 to ensure that should I ever require surgical intervention again (there is a considerable risk associated with this type of injury and surgery) I would be able to seek proper medical treatment without facing the fear of financial crisis.
I have requested a form 18M from the Industrial Commission should we not be able to come to an agreement concerning the “clincher”. With the amount of issues I continue to have I do not feel comfortable signing anything that would preclude me from receiving further medical care as needed.
Bam, bitches! I used big words and everything. I knew there was no way in hell they would ever go for that but I was hoping that it might open the door to negotiations. Nope.
We reject your offer to settle for $50,000. Dr. Misspelled Last Name has given you a full duty release and has not recommended any additional medical treatment. We are not interested in settling your claim for any additional money.
With that being said, we will authorize a follow up appointment with Dr. Misspelled Last Name. Troll will authorize the appointment with Dr. Misspelled Last Name’s office. Since you are working, please call his office to schedule your appointment at your convenience.
We still owe you the 6% rating to your arm ($2,703.60). I have attached a Form 26A that allows us to pay you that rating once approved by the Industrial Commission. Your medical claim will remain open until the time period lapses pursuant to the law. Please let me know if you have any questions. Although, please note I only represent Wal-Mart and Claims Company and cannot offer you any legal advice.
Again with the name! Christ on a mother fucking crutch.
That was more of my “line in the sand” than an offer, but I thank you for taking it into consideration as such. I will schedule the follow-up appointment with Dr. LAST NAME SPELLED CORRECTLY AND IN ALL CAPS AND ALSO BOLDED AND UNDERLINED IN CASE YOU MIGHT MISS IT at my earliest convenience. We will move forward from there.
I’m aware of who you represent. I would find it odd to be having this discussion with you if you didn’t represent Wal-Mart.
Bam again. I will be a shit right back at you. I will be a shit back at you so hard that you probably fumed about this for the rest of the day and told all of your co-workers about it. And in the middle of your fuming you will send an e-mail to the Deputy Docket Coordinator or whatever for the Industrial Commission that you CCed me on via snail mail. And you’ll fuck that up too.
See? Advising also advising. Good job, Skippy.
Will you be accepting the rating? Or will you decide after seeing Dr. Misspelled Last Name Again Two God Damned Minutes After I Corrected It For You, You Fucking Brain Damaged Sea Cow?
Little Attorney That Obviously Cannot
Jesus Herbert Christ. Really? No. No, I am not going to accept the rating until I see Doctor You’re Just Fucking with Me Now, Right? This was childish. This was highly unprofessional. You KNOW she did that shit on purpose. *Stomps feet on ground while throwing tantrum*
I told her I’d decide after my appointment with Doctor Whose Name I Spelled Correctly. Again. But less shouty.
Troll went ahead and scheduled an appointment with
Dr. I Done Fucked This Shit Up Again Because I Hate You on October 1st at 11:00 AM. Thanks.
Little Attorney Who Has Lost Her Goddamned Mind
(I didn’t even bother to address her by name)
Please consult with me before scheduling appointments on my behalf. That time and date will not work for me. Something came up over the weekend that took precedence over scheduling a follow-up visit. I'm going to call and cancel that appointment and let them know that I will reschedule when this situation allows me.
My dog was hit by a car. He had horrible road rash from his toes to his upper thighs. All on the inside. I cried. It cost me a lot of money because he managed to do this after my vet had closed for the weekend and Banfield is ridiculous. I ended up treating and bandaging the wounds myself and taking him to the vet on Monday where I paid LESS for him to be sedated, cleaned, and bandaged than I had for the other place to see him and give him a shot. I had no time to be worrying about simple bitch and her shit. Mick is totally fine now, by the way.
We are just trying to get you the medical treatment you requested. We saw that you are no longer working for Wal-Mart, so we went ahead and scheduled the appointment. It is our right to direct medical treatment. If you have gotten another job and have a certain schedule, we can work around that. We can only wait so long before we will file our Request for Hearing in order to pay out the rating.
Look, ho. You can direct whatever the fuck you want to. Traffic, air traffic, the NASA launch program, or a broadway musical for all the shits I give. You do not and cannot direct my time or my life. I said I would take care of it at my earliest convenience. There was nothing convenient about my dog being hit by a car.
Oh, I quit my job at Walmart! Fucking shit hole. Worst years of my life. I have been SO much happier since I left. I honestly believe that every problem I had was caused by that place. But I guess she thought that I was now an unemployed Just a Person who also happens to be stupid and desperate for cash. Hooker, please. I quit because I found a job making twice as much money. And it’s not in retail or customer service. And there you go again with “that road”. Isn’t bullying and threatening, however subtle, unethical? I will file the request myself if it gets you off my nuts. I sent a reply but my email app decided not to send it.
I have attached Dr. I Spell It Like This To Ruin Your Day’s medical report. Do you want to proceed with settlement or accept the rating?
Little Attorney That Should Just Give Up
No. No. NONONONONONONONOOOOOOOO. No.
I tried to email you after the appointment and it was returned to me. I need a few bits of information from you so that I can send in the form 18M.
IC File #
Emp Code #
Carrier Code #
Insurance Carrier name, address, phone and fax numbers.
Because fuck you. That’s why.
She told me to check the attached form. Hint hint. It was missing information but I don’t give a shit. And I still haven’t sent that form in because I’m stupid.
Just a heads up, I will be filing a request for hearing this afternoon in order to ask the Commission to allow us to pay you the rating. This will take us to a full evidentiary hearing. Also, if you have filed a Form 18M please note you must send me a copy. We have the right to object and file a response.
Little Attorney Who Just Went There
Oh, no! She’s going down “that road”! Also, she fully intends to shut down that form as soon as she sees it. Way to be subtle. And also, jump up my ass lady.
Are you not getting my emails? I get an automated response saying they are being delayed, but nothing that says they are undeliverable. Mail me the form and I'll return it with a copy of the 18M. Do I also need to send a copy to Troll? If you refuse the form, I can then file my own request, correct?
(She’s now not addressing me at all)
I have not received any emails from you. What form are you referring to? The 26A or the settlement agreement?
Little Attorney That Has No Reading Comprehension Skills
Seriously. I refused, repeatedly, to sign the settlement agreement. Why do you think I suddenly had a change of heart? Because you’re touched in the head? That’s really the only reason I can come up with. Of course I meant the 26A. Good job not answering my questions. I guess they were just rhetorical.