Showing posts from April, 2010

You're Stupid and I Want to Punch You in the Face Part 3

There are many things in this world that drive me into a violent rage. One of those things is stupid people. Stupid people account for the majority of my stress. They can’t drive, speak, or write well, but insist on doing those things as frequently as possible and in my general vicinity.

I don’t claim to be smarter than everyone else, just the vast majority of everyone else. Ever since I learned to read, I’ve been in love with language. There are so many ways to use and abuse it. I’ve been a human dictionary and spell check for most of my life, and I am rarely wrong. Don’t let those old spelling bee videos fool you; I tend to choke under that kind of pressure.

I need to get some things out of the way here. I tend to overlook a LOT of things because I am Southern and I happen to live in the South. We speak a little differently down here. I’m actually guilty of saying “It’n it” instead of “isn’t it”. But there are things that I absolutely can NOT stand. These things will send me into a…

You're Stupid and I Want to Punch You in the Face Part 2.

I posted the last grammar lesson and then I even went so far as to post the link on Facebook with an urgent message to all of my friends to read it, it could save lives. Not an hour after posting this, I saw this on my news feed: “I hope your well”. I’m sorry, come again? You hope their well whats? Did you mean to say, “I hope you’re well”?

This is unacceptable.

On to the next!

To, Too, and Two.

I have this friend, and the title of her blog is “Two Much of a Good Thing”. This is the ONLY time I find this abuse of grammar acceptable! THIS, my friends, is what we like to call “a play on words”. She has twins, which means, there are two children. Ha ha, get it? TWO much? Ok, moving on.

To: To works in one of two ways, as either a preposition leading to a noun, or an infinitive when it precedes a verb. (Do I really need to post another lesson for “Nouns, Verbs, and Infinitives”? I will if I have to. God, just don’t make me throw in a split participle!) So, it’s either in conjunction with…

You're Stupid and I Want to Punch You in the Face... Part 1.

Now, I’ve been known to have a typo or five thousand in my illustrious writing career, but they are just that, typos. There is a world of difference between a typo, a misspelling, and a grammatical error… Let’s not leave out “sheer idiocy”.

There have also been times, in fits of confusion and mental anguish, where I have given in and researched the proper usage of certain words and how they are spelled. I feel that God invented the Google search bar for this very purpose. My most prized source of information on all things grammar related is Grammar Girl 

Typo: An accidental misspelling, addition of an excess letter, or the left out letter. ACCIDENTAL! I understand that it happens to other people too and it’s (LOOK AT THAT APOSTROPHE!) usually fairly obvious when it’s accidental.

Misspelled words: There is no excuse. Your dyslexia does not faze me because you have the ability to proof read everything you write BEFORE you click “Comment”, “Send”, or “Enter”. Unlike the result of verbal di…