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Showing posts from December, 2009

Sarcastic Woman Seeking Someone to Laugh at When They Fall Down

I’m going to be completely honest here, as the truth will surface eventually, or on the first date if you supply me with enough alcohol (When I drink, I tend to tell stories that are hilarious to me, but may make others that don’t know me so well feel a little awkward).

I’m 23 years old. I’m unemployed. I moved back in with my parents over a year ago and the prospect of me moving back out is a dim glimmer on the horizon of my rent-free life. I live at home with my disabled mother, idiotic and often ill-tempered step-father, and a fickle beast of a cat.

I am going to school for something I only have a vague interest in so that I can graduate in two years and start making decent money right off the bat… I honestly have very little interest in giving pregnant women ultrasounds, especially when many of them are done internally and resemble acts of lesbian love.

I am not skinny. Given today’s standards, I am what you would call “average”. Were I to grow another six inches, I would be what …