Picking up where we left off. I shot out another email to the lawyer.
I'm assuming by 'settlement agreement' that you are referring to the 'clincher'? If so, or if the settlement reads anything like the 'clincher' did, I am not at all interested in signing it. I will be blunt with you, one of my major concerns during this ordeal, that has lead to me not signing anything, is the carelessness with which documents and correspondence have been drafted. Other than a strain on my time, the idea of a full evidentiary hearing doesn't bother me. It won't have any kind of negative impact on my end of things. However, the errors in grammar and spelling have worried me a great deal. I will not sign any legal document that has errors. Even after I corrected the repeated misspelling of Dr. I’m Tired of This Shit's name, you continued to misspell it. I can only make assumptions as to why. I have to leave for work now, but I will try to respond to any further messages if I get the chance.
Finally. I finally got that out. It was the extremely censored version, but still. Notice that I say that I am on my way to work and will respond when I get the chance. Note that shit. Note it hard.
That’s fine if you do not want to agree to a clincher. The only error in the clincher was the spelling of Dr. THANK GOD SHE FINALLY SPELLED IT RIGHT’S name. I told you I would be more than happy to correct that. The clincher was not drafted carelessly. Are you interested in accepting the rating with a Form 26A?
Yes, it was drafted carelessly and no, that was not the only mistake. Not even close. I received this email as I was turning out of my driveway. I obviously couldn’t respond to it. I obviously couldn’t respond to it while I was working either. They don’t pay me to answer personal e-mails. They pay me to work. I usually pop outside for a smoke around 5. A mere three hours after this was sent. At 4:30 I receive an email from her legal assistant.
Good afternoon Ms. Docket Director:
Please see attached correspondence from attorney Dip Shit, and Defendants’ Form 33, Request that Claim be Assigned for Hearing.
That bitch went ahead and filed the mother fucking request for a hearing. What part of “I’ll respond when I can” did you not understand? You probably saw that I had read your email and took that to mean that I was ignoring it. I wasn’t. But let’s just skip merrily down “that road”.
I then received mail from the Industrial Commission saying that they had received the request and approved it. And then I got a letter saying that we had to attend a mandatory mediation before the hearing could be scheduled. At first everyone told me that I could not attend mediation without representation. Then they told me that I seriously needed an attorney present because it’s Walmart and also a “very powerful” law firm. And then they said “We won’t represent you this late in the game.” What the actual fuck? So, I guess having a lawyer would be awesome but no one wants to help because it’s for chump change. And also, I’d have to pay them a large chunk of my tiny settlement. I understand how the law works when calculating the settlement, but I heartily disagree with it. I do manual labor. I NEED my arm. I need the shit out of my arm. If it doesn’t function properly, I can’t work. If I can’t work, I can’t pay bills or feed myself. Or my dog. THINK OF THE DOG! Now, being that I do manual labor, I don’t make a ton of money. The lawyer does though. Comparatively speaking. If she was in the same situation she would be getting ten times the amount of money that I am. Why? Because her salary is ten times higher than mine, but her physical workload is probably 10% of mine. She, theoretically, doesn’t need her arm as much as I need mine. She also has a bigger financial cushion to fall back on should she become incapacitated in some way. I SHOULD get more money than she does. But that’s not how it works.
Are you or someone you know a lawyer? Specifically a lawyer licensed to practice in North Carolina? Do you know any lawyers that fit that bill that also happen to hate the absolute shit out of Walmart and dickish defense attorneys? Lawyers that maybe like overly sarcastic short women and their blogs that go largely ignored for long spans of time? If so, email me. Seriously. If you've got some time on your hands and you'd like to offer me some really stellar legal advice, or better yet, free representation that comes with a glowing review on this very blog, hit me up. Bitches needs help.
I have more to share with you. Just wait.