The Randomist

Come Undone by Jackson Waters There are ways that I've been fallin' There are times that I've been so weak There are moments, I hear redemption call them But I'm too far down to speak So come sweet fire of mercy, cover up my skin Warm me like the sun, won't you let me in To come, come undone To come, come undone There are scars that I've been hiding There are ghosts that I do not name There are closets i do not care to open But they open all the same So come sweet fire of mercy, cover up my skin Warm me like the sun, won't you let me in To come, come undone To come, come undone

I have these lines on my hands; tons and tons of little lines all over my palms. I like to think that they’re “experience”. Sometimes, like today, I think they’re cracks. You can’t see them unless I show them to you; unless you’re looking for them. You can’t see them if you don’t get close enough. But they’re there. I have all of these scars on my arms. Only one or two that were put there intentionally. They were put there by animals, mostly. The things I loved unconditionally that hurt me; left their mark on me. A few came from things I was careless with. I was thinking about these things because I was staring at my hands today, wondering what they were capable of. What could these two hands do? They’ve made art, they’ve made music, they’ve made love, and they’ve caused pain… but could they really hurt something? Could they take a life? Could they destroy a life? Could they be used to cause irrevocable damage to a person or their mind? I’m not sure. I am sure that I have wa...

*The photo in reference is the photo currently sitting just to the left, my default picture.* Hi folks. I had one of my lovely readers post a comment in regards to my not so photogenic qualities. I decided against approving it, and went for a more courageous approach. I made it into a blog. I think that me and good ‘ole Howard could become fast friends. I think I might already be half in love with him, and half out as well, let’s see which side gains over time, shall we? I had contemplated not posting this at all, as I have a team of vicious midgets, other wise known as my bestests, who may very well launch a search party and maim or possibly kill poor Howard. But as I said, I kind of love him right now. You can make up your own minds about Mr. Heretic though. Here’s your 15 of fame my love, enjoy it. And oh yes… spell check. It is your best friend. Heather Heartless Oh what a joy your cynical take on life appears. I (you?) was hilarious … well soughtr (sort) of. Male readers (the...

Consternation. Dictionary.com defines that as “A state of paralyzing dismay”. So, I will today write about things that consternate me, perhaps even discombobulate me as well. First things first, it being Super Bowl time, I’ve been paying careful attention to all commercials. Tampons. I know that this joke is an old one, but I still feel it’s a problem that needs to be addressed. The tampons of old would apparently enable you to ride horses, participate in complicated water sports, and various other activities. But today’s tampons are super cool. With these I could be the next Mary Lou Retton. Or Mia Hamm. Maybe even Anna Kournikova. All because I use the new Sport Tampon. Uh huh. Who would have thought that what amounts to a cotton ball on a string could bring you such joy? And has anyone noticed that they all end with an X? Kotex… Playtex…Tampax? (With the exception of O.B. because frankly, that’s not really a tampon… it’s an ear plug). Is there some special ingredient or f...

Yes. Yes I am. But maybe, just maybe, I’m not the only one who has made this mistake. You see… I more or less work a third shift job. I get up around 2:30 am and head on out delivering papers, working the production plant, clearing drops, running shortages, all manner of things really. So I usually go to bed pretty early. I fell asleep around 3pm yesterday, book in hand, Napoleon Dynamite on the tube. I did not mean to do this. I meant to force myself to stay awake until at least 6 before dropping off. Well, now that we mention the hour of six, it brings us to the stupid part of my story. When I woke up it was SIX O’CLOCK! I had to be at work at 4:30!!! I started freaking out, I was still wearing the clothes from the day before so I just rolled out of bed, put my shoes on and ran out of the apartment. Get outside and into the car and I start to think to myself… “You know… there are an awful lot of people out here this early in the morning…” And then it hit me… but not befor...

I'm going to rant about something! *Gasps* Never before seen in this blog... Heather will rant. Ok... I thought I would have this whole anonymous blogger thing going on. My secret identity has been revealed. Now I might have to actually show my face on here... and, I'm just not sure that the world could handle this. Not that the face itself is overly horrible... the pictures of said face are. I just do NOT get that! I could look like Miss Freakin' Universe before... and as soon as that shutter snaps... I'm the bag lady on the corner, only homelier. Parking Tickets. Come on Parking Meter Reader Bill... That's right, I KNOW YOUR NAME! Seriously...If I didn't have the quarter to put in the machine, what makes you think I'll have the... I think its now $70 to pay the tickets? They should leave little letters that say "I'm sorry that you are so poor you can't afford to put a quarter in the meter, here's a blank check, take whatever you need from ...

I'm all shook up. Sorry, had to get one more Elvis thing in there. I told you last blog about the broken footed journey to Baltimore. It is time to tell you the rest. Dear old cousin Keith was getting married, technically in PA, but Baltimore is way better, and we spend more time there... moving on. Our Dad took his bike up there, and left us the Expedition. Well, being the graceful and highly intelligent person that she is, Celia decided that it would be a truly excellent idea to fall down the stairs the night before we left. She sprained her ankle and broke the outside of her foot. But, since I was just getting onto 485 from the other side of Charlotte when I got her panicked phone call, I had to make her wait. I get there, and now The Boy Child, her son, is following her around, doing this really great limping hopping imitation of her, I love this child. We say our goodbyes and I drive her down the mountain to the hospital, really cute doctors by the way. We do the x-ray ...