The Randomist

Now, don’t get me wrong, I had many fun and memorable moments at the place I used to work; a place which may or may not sell various tractor components as well as a wide array of interesting things for those who partake in the rural lifestyle. Just today, I threw a book at an elderly gentleman as he was exiting the store, which had closed an hour before due to it being New Year’s Eve. I would not have thrown my delightful non-fiction comedy at this man if he hadn’t moved with the mental speed of a stoned turtle. The doors were closed… and turned off… but not locked. Ok, question time here folks, if you walk up to a retail store and the AUTOMATIC doors don’t open, what would you do? I, personally, would walk away, but does anyone here do that? NO! They pull the doors open and walk in. “Sir!”, “We’re closed!” I say. Elderly gentleman followed by wife proceeds into the checkout area. Wife, “Oh, you’re closed?” No shit Sherlock! “Yes ma’am, we’re closed, we closed at four to...