The Randomist

The title doesn’t really leave much room for a preamble, so let’s get this party started. Rachael Ray. She makes me ashamed of my last name.                                                         People who talk like Rachael Ray. I will break that fucking bottle of yummo delish EVOO all over your head, asshole. The point of an acronym in to make a short word out of a series of longer words, not to spell out the acronym. Eeevooo. Say it with me. We don’t call it N-A-S-A or S-C-U-B-A, do we? Microsoft Word Spell Check. Only one of those sentences up there is a fragment. Also, I’m sorry that you recognize Ebonics as our official language and not English, but you’re not correct. The fact that I can’t e...

I like awards.  I like the getting of them and I like the having of them.  I've never won a trophy in my life, but I'm sorely tempted to have one made for myself because I can.  That won't be happening anytime soon because I'm poor and have better things to do, like stealing awards I was never given from websites that offer them freely.  I honestly feel as though I deserve each and every one of the awards TheBloggess  posted on her blog today.  Every.  One.  We'll start with inefficient efficiency. I work in a photolab at my friendly neighborhood "store-mart" and I do the frowning intently at the computer screen thing to make myself appear busy when in reality, I'm really just looking for naked pictures at best and old men in speedos at worst and being pissed off that the raunchiest thing in our system is someone eating a penis cake with asymmetrical balls.   As long as I have the editing box up, I can totally say I'm just enhancing someon...