The Randomist

Okay, I have to get this out of the way before I can move on to the hilariously violent rage that I keep bottled inside of me at all times. You guys are the most amazing fucking people I have ever had to pleasure of communicating with. Seriously. Never forget it and if anyone tells you that you aren’t, I’ll come bite their ankles off… right after I stab them in the face with a pen. It’s more fun when they run first. All of the comments have done what months of therapy and bottling could not. I feel … light… again. I feel free. I feel pretty and witty and fun. And there the moment goes. A Brief Lesson on Grammar and Common Fucking Courtesy. Asshole. “I stay down in Pageland.” “Yeah, that’s where we stay.” “Where do you stay?” Completely ignoring the fact that ‘stay’ means that you, well, fucking STAY somewhere, as in, you don’t ever fucking leave it or it’s only for short periods of time, I’m going to point out how stupid you sound. You stay in a mother fucking hot...

The title doesn’t really leave much room for a preamble, so let’s get this party started. Rachael Ray. She makes me ashamed of my last name.                                                         People who talk like Rachael Ray. I will break that fucking bottle of yummo delish EVOO all over your head, asshole. The point of an acronym in to make a short word out of a series of longer words, not to spell out the acronym. Eeevooo. Say it with me. We don’t call it N-A-S-A or S-C-U-B-A, do we? Microsoft Word Spell Check. Only one of those sentences up there is a fragment. Also, I’m sorry that you recognize Ebonics as our official language and not English, but you’re not correct. The fact that I can’t e...