About Me


I am better known as Heather Ray on a good day, Heather Heartless on the bad ones.  I'm an aspiring writer with one whole book mostly finished and it only took me a measly five years to do it!  Sarcasm, bitchassedness, and falling down are things I excel at. 


Feel free to contact me with some love... or hate (but be warned that I'll correct your grammar and make a fool out of you on here if you do).

heatherheartless@live.com

Jadedblues on Twitter.

Popular posts from this blog

Things That Irritate the Shit Out of Me

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The title doesn’t really leave much room for a preamble, so let’s get this party started. Rachael Ray. She makes me ashamed of my last name.                                                         People who talk like Rachael Ray. I will break that fucking bottle of yummo delish EVOO all over your head, asshole. The point of an acronym in to make a short word out of a series of longer words, not to spell out the acronym. Eeevooo. Say it with me. We don’t call it N-A-S-A or S-C-U-B-A, do we? Microsoft Word Spell Check. Only one of those sentences up there is a fragment. Also, I’m sorry that you recognize Ebonics as our official language and not English, but you’re not correct. The fact that I can’t e...
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Eat Pray Love Makes Me Want to Kill Myself

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New director's cut of Eat Pray Love comes with a complementary noose. I’m a little late in coming to the review game on this one, but I couldn’t hold it inside any longer. I’ve never hidden my feelings towards to movie “Eat Pray Love”. I’ve also never truly expressed my feelings about it in such a public arena… until last night, when my rage was renewed. The following took place on Facebook. HCW: I never get tired of watching Eat Pray Love. :) Heather Ray: Really? That movie made me hate Julia Roberts... and I kind of wanted to kill myself five minutes into it. I seriously would have cheered if she'd been hit by a bus at the end. HCW: Hahaha I thought it was a very calming movie..like a "im feeling depressed so I'm gonna watch eat pray love and eat an entire carton of ice cream" movie. Heather Ray: I can’t stand her character. Somewhere towards the end of Eat and the middle of Pray, I warmed up to her a bit, as in I didn’t want to stab her in...
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My Vagina is Secretly a Sassy Black Woman

A moment ago I thought to myself, “If my ovaries had nuts, I’d kick them in them.” And then I realized that was too many thems. Also, that my ovaries kind of ARE my nuts. And that I say also too much. They’re not being terribly evil at the moment, but that “special time” isn’t so special. It’s irritating and it pisses me off. Like that saying goes, you shouldn’t trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die. Therefore, I no longer trust my vagina. I thought I would share a few of my thoughts on menstruation with you. 1.) I think it’s a horrible joke on me that my gynecologist is attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a wonderful doctor, but I don’t think his hotness is a bonus for me. Initially, this had me wanting to clamp my legs shut and waddle out the door. Gynecologist visits are in direct violation of my “Never naked with the lights on” rule and having an attractive man see me naked under fluorescents was almost more than I could take. He makes delightfully...
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