I Can't Feel My Face
I now present to you my trip to the dentist, as told through a series of text messages and Facebook statuses. Me : Fuuuuuuck. They’re running behind. No fix for me today. Yay. Why can’t they just handle this in one fell swoop? I hate sitting in this place with these people. 10:59am. (I was in the dental office at the Health Department… because I’m poor and they charge less.) Me : I’m starting to feel poorer, pregnant, and less smart…. I’m a terrible person. 11:08am. Me : These kids across from me are borderline creepy… and I think the woman with them is slow. Most of these kids are just emitting some kind of annoying pheromone. There should be an adults only day. 11:13am. Me : This one kid seriously looks like an old man. I’d take a picture if I could. 11:15am. Quasi-Mexican : Gross. I take it you’re off today? 11:17am. Me : Yes. What a way to spend it. I think one of these crotchlings has shit… Something smells… My ovary just shriveled up and died. 11:18am ...