The Randomist

New director's cut of Eat Pray Love comes with a complementary noose. I’m a little late in coming to the review game on this one, but I couldn’t hold it inside any longer. I’ve never hidden my feelings towards to movie “Eat Pray Love”. I’ve also never truly expressed my feelings about it in such a public arena… until last night, when my rage was renewed. The following took place on Facebook. HCW: I never get tired of watching Eat Pray Love. :) Heather Ray: Really? That movie made me hate Julia Roberts... and I kind of wanted to kill myself five minutes into it. I seriously would have cheered if she'd been hit by a bus at the end. HCW: Hahaha I thought it was a very calming movie..like a "im feeling depressed so I'm gonna watch eat pray love and eat an entire carton of ice cream" movie. Heather Ray: I can’t stand her character. Somewhere towards the end of Eat and the middle of Pray, I warmed up to her a bit, as in I didn’t want to stab her in...

A moment ago I thought to myself, “If my ovaries had nuts, I’d kick them in them.” And then I realized that was too many thems. Also, that my ovaries kind of ARE my nuts. And that I say also too much. They’re not being terribly evil at the moment, but that “special time” isn’t so special. It’s irritating and it pisses me off. Like that saying goes, you shouldn’t trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn’t die. Therefore, I no longer trust my vagina. I thought I would share a few of my thoughts on menstruation with you. 1.) I think it’s a horrible joke on me that my gynecologist is attractive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a wonderful doctor, but I don’t think his hotness is a bonus for me. Initially, this had me wanting to clamp my legs shut and waddle out the door. Gynecologist visits are in direct violation of my “Never naked with the lights on” rule and having an attractive man see me naked under fluorescents was almost more than I could take. He makes delightfully...