The Randomist

Every weekend I tell myself I’m going to start working out on Monday and every Monday I take a nap instead. I obviously have my priorities straight. Everyone always says really negative things about fat, so I'm going to list three positive things. 1. Loestrin (the birth control that doesn’t make me throw up on a daily basis) has made my boobs borderline amazing. - Seriously. They’re close to being what I want them to be. Stairs are a little tricky if I try to take them with any amount of speed, but my God the bounce! Losing weight will only jeopardize this love affair I have going on with my boobs. I KNOW that when I lose any amount of weight, it will come out of my boobs. Karma is a nasty hag. 2. If I lose weight, my cheeks won't be so fat and I'll lose my dimply/creasy things when I smile. - My cheeks have always been pudgy, many people think that it’s endearing and like to pinch or poke them. I think it’s cute sometimes. Other times… I wonder what’s goin...

I could use being snowed in as the perfect opportunity to do some “serious writing” the way Nora Roberts did on that fateful winter’s day when she first put pen to paper in an effort to salvage her sanity and then went on to write an entire library shelf worth of books. But… I have a somewhat irrational fear that it will involve violence with roque mallets, a smashed door, and ultimately end with my icy death in the middle of a hedge maze. I’m also pretty sure that I just mixed details from the movie and the book, but both were so awesome that I can’t seem to bring myself to care. This brings me to a point, not THE point, but a point all the same… Literacy… can sometimes be overrated. Yes, I just went there. Without books my life would be a sad and meaningless cycle of sleeping, eating, smoking, mindless internet games and hours of mind numbingly stupid television shows. Except without being literate it would all be a big jumbled mess of frustration because I couldn’t ty...