In Which I Unofficially Run for a Seat in the North Carolina Senate. Seriously.



I’ve been giving this issue a lot of thought, about five minutes worth (I think fast), and I’ve decided to unofficially run for Senate.  You see, the two options looming before us are both terrible.  They can’t even debate each other with any skill or credibility.  There were no empty political promises or in-depth discussions of the issues our state is facing.  It was pointing fingers and deflecting blame.

“She said she’d do X but then did Y.”

“I’d like to speak on that.  HE said he’d vote on Y but didn’t.”

This entire thing is a farcical exercise in futility.  There will be no winner here if either of them wins and they have no competition.  They treat everything important and financially vital to this state as a joke.  So, I’ve decided to give them a joke.

I, Heather Ray, am unofficially declaring my bid for office.

That’s right, y’all.

I know next to nothing about the internal workings of government.  I try to ignore politics as much as possible.  I have no shits to give about unpopular opinions.

So, I’m basically perfect for office.   Ignorance is key here, right?

The chances of me winning are laughable, but with your support, we could gather enough votes for them to notice.  We can garner enough attention and competition to let them know that the people are sick and damned tired of these money grubbing politicians serving nothing but their own personal interests.

Can you imagine the fear this would strike into their cold and empty little hearts?  That an unknown, unqualified, unemployed woman from a town with two stoplights can get enough votes to remain competitive?

What would this say to them?

It would say that we’ve had enough.  It would say that one false step and they’re done.  It would say that we’re finished taking it sitting down and we’ve decided to do something about it.

It will also bring a great deal of media attention to our fight.  There are thousands of us in the film industry alone that are trying to vote these people out of office.  Some of the offices have no competition and therefore no viable second option.  WE have to be the option.  WE have to be the change.

And if something went horrifically wrong (or right) and I won, can you imagine the hell that could be raised?  We would have a voice.  I have no “special interests” other than sleep.  And no one can really bribe me with that.  I have no shits to give about the game, glad handing, or backdoor deals.  I just want to fuck some shit up.

I am unemployed.  I work/worked in the film industry.  I have been a victim of violence and then the state for their ineffective advocacy programs.  I have a dog that injures himself without trying and a cat with AIDS.  I am impoverished and have no health insurance and no way to pay for health care, especially not dentistry.

What does this say about me?

I stand for the common man.  I stand for those that can’t stand for themselves.  I fully support film incentives and the thousands of jobs and millions of dollars it brings to our lovely state.  I am an advocate for animals.  I understand the need for a change in healthcare policy.  And I’ve got nothing but time on my hands right now.

Would it not be absolutely hilarious to watch the utter confusion on the faces of broadcasters and politicians alike when they start to tally votes and Heather Ray just keeps popping up?  Would it not be even sweeter to watch that confusion turn to fear when the votes reach a number high enough to become competitive?  I don’t really have an interest in winning, but I have an interest in fucking with people.

And fuck with them this would.

Let’s band together for this campaign.  I’m talking print ads, social media attacks, and Youtube campaign videos that are hilariously sarcastic, yet poignant. 

Let’s take the “campaign” viral and show them what the film industry is capable of achieving.  That we can take them down with laughter and Facebook likes.

That we are so much better at this game than they are.

That we are Marshall!  Wait, no.  That’s not right.  But it’s a good inspiration.

Let’s show them that we can take them out of office with ease, if not with dignity.

This November, let’s fuck shit up.

Write in your vote for Heather Ray.


Write in your vote for hilarity.

Let's start #OPHeatherRay

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